With or without a dating app, it is possible to meet people in 2022 through many means. There is absolutely nothing wrong with using a dating app or site to meet someone. Rather, it is a completely normal way for people to find the love of their life. But just because everyone is doing it doesn’t mean you have to! So to try something new, to get out of the sphere of dating sites, or simply to spend less time staring at your little phone screen, you’ve taken the resolution to delete Tinder and company. But how to meet people in real life? That’s where this handy and simple guide comes in.
Here are 10 easy and (mostly) not too uncomfortable steps to successfully deleting your dating apps, getting off your couch and meeting someone without internet :
1. Make a real effort to go out more often:
The definition of “going out” is up to you – it could mean going on more solo trips to the grocery store or more outings with your friends. The beauty of apps is that you can flirt from your couch, in your pajamas. Removing these apps means you have to get off the couch, get dressed (anyway) and go talk to people face to face.
2. And when you go out, try to go somewhere new:
It’s as simple as that: if you want to meet new people, you have to hang out with new places and new people. Go slowly. You stop at a coffee shop on the way to work or you set a goal to go to a new restaurant every month. Worst-case scenario, you’ll find a few new places you like and have new experiences. You have nothing to lose but everything to gain!
3. Set achievable, not too scary goals :
It’s much easier to muster the confidence and courage to approach someone cute in public than it is to actually do so, and that’s where goal setting and accountability come in handy. Make a rule that by Valentine’s Day or Halloween, you’ll have met at least three new people that you find attractive. Even if you don’t have 100% confidence in yourself, this will be a great exercise to help you do so. It will be uncomfortable at first, let’s be honest, but only for a little while. The more you get used to approaching strangers, the easier it will be.
4. Create your own catchphrase :
Most of the anxiety associated with approaching a cute stranger comes from having to think of a smart, flirty thing to say that also doesn’t sound like an approach. with nuts. Eliminate this anxiety by inventing a sentence in advance. The best ones are simple and straightforward, like, “Due to accidentally making eye contact, I thought I’d come say hi. » Avoid anything ultra-specific (a bit creepy) or anything that sounds repeated. People are frightened by things that don’t look authentic. Be yourself !
5. Ask a friend to trick you:
There’s nothing more fun a person in a relationship likes to do than fix up their single friends. It’s boring and awful, yes, but it could also work. A few dating apps try to replicate this old practice of giving your friends control over your selection, but 1. you deleted the apps, remember? And 2. even the smartest apps can’t match the effectiveness of action in real life. If you’re a woman looking for a man, ask one of your friends who’s in a relationship if her boyfriend has any single friends you might like. Same thing on the other hand if you are a man looking for a woman, ask to meet the single friends of your friends who are broke.
6. Evaluate your expectations in terms of interpersonal relationships:
I’m not saying lower your expectations, but it’s hard to find something you want when you don’t really know what it is. Looking for someone to go out with a few nights a week? A one-night stand to chat at brunch? A potential person to spend the rest of your days with?
7. Join a group or other :
Credits to cookie_studio from Freepik
You really should join a band or something. It can be anything: a local running group, a board game team, a cooking class, whatever! Join a group related to something you already know and love to meet people with similar interests, or join something unlike anything you’ve done before to meet the kind of people you would like to hang out and spend time with. It’s up to you to decide.
8. Go somewhere alone :
Don’t go where you don’t feel safe (and leave if you start to feel that way), but going somewhere alone is fun and makes you much more approachable. It’s intimidating to walk in and introduce yourself to someone who is surrounded by friends. My personal recommendation is to bring a good book to a bar with a good happy hour and read while you drink and snack on a drink. Even if no one catches your eye or approaches, it’s a great way to spend an evening, for example.
9. Respect the “no phone allowed” rule when you are in a public place:
You deleted apps to spend less time staring at your phone. Don’t waste all the effort of trying to meet someone in real life by going out in public and gluing your eyes to your phone the whole time! Nobody will say hello to you if you spend all your time at the bar getting lost in Instagram stories or the Facebook timeline. Put your phone away and only take it out if you really need it (but, frankly, you won’t need it).
You are the one who can build your future happiness so give yourself the means to get there. Who knows, maybe you will meet the right person at an exhibition or in a fitted gym? The important thing is to be sure of what you want and to do what it takes to get there.