ove has no age and the relationship can last despite the years that separate them.There are many couples who love each other despite the age difference between them. Although a big age difference in a couple is not always easy to manage and the gaze of others is often difficult to bear. Fortunately, most of these couples go over and live a beautiful love story.
- A man in a relationship with a younger woman:
1.1 What is he looking for?
This is the most common scenario. “These men need to distance themselves from age, the passage of time,” explains our couple therapist. For this, they want to feel that they appeal to younger women. The physical aspect
predominates at first. Attracting a younger woman can arouse the envy and jealousy of other men their age. Then comes this mysterious admiration of these young women for them. Their candid, naive, less experienced side makes them look at them with admiration. “So being with women their own age would make them feel less exceptional, and more ordinary.”
These women offer an energy, a passion and an availability that they do not necessarily find in women of their age, very busy with the constraints of everyday life (shopping, children, etc.).
1.2 What is she looking for?
young women need guidance. ” An older man basically has more experience, he may be more focused on the needs and desires of the other. Having lived more, he is less self-centered”.
Getting into a relationship with an older man is also a “time saver”. From a material point of view, it allows them to settle into life more quickly. Thus, “a 25-year-old woman who is with a 45-year-old man is more likely to benefit from material comfort quickly than if she were with a 25-year-old man who must prove himself professionally”.
Finally, the question of maturity is essential in these couples. Disappointed by the lack of maturity of men their age, these women feel more comfortable with more mature men.
2. A woman in a relationship with a younger man:
2.1 What is she looking for?
Being rarer, old woman/young man couples are more stigmatized, the physical is to be taken into account here. A woman of a certain age feels flattered when she is looked at by a younger man, who may have a more advantageous physique than that of a man of her age. By going out with a younger man, she also frees herself from a superiority often claimed by men of her age and therefore from an unequal relationship.
2.2 What is he looking for?
“These young men are interested in adult talk and have a different outlook on life than people their age,” says our therapist. They already have a maturity that allows them to be attracted to women of a certain age. The mothering role they can play on them is also a factor to be taken into account. These women will accommodate their wants and needs. “Their word is golden”.
3. A relationship of equals:
Unlike couples formed by an elderly man and a young woman, there is less risk of “defusion”. “In the case of women older than the man, there is much less of this unequal side, and this age-related superiority”. Age and maturity do not come to be screens, arguments against the other. Even if they have more experience because of their age, they will not claim it within the couple.
4. The age difference, a brake on the long term?
The age difference is not necessarily an obstacle to the longevity of the couple from the moment the interests and desires are the same. “When everyone’s maturity becomes equal, it works.” On the other hand, other parameters, which we cannot control, can harm the relationship and cause a breakup. Thus, the desire for a child or illness (related to age) are potential obstacles.