Dating Red Flags

Dating Red Flags

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A red flag is a signal or warning about toxic behavior in a person.

If we detect several of them, we must flee! And even, from the first red flag, we save ourselves from getting into a relationship with this person to avoid being caught in the clutches of a narcissistic pervert. Learning to detect these signals allows you to avoid getting into a relationship that could cause suffering.

1-    When all his/her exes are crazy:

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Generally, someone who says that, it is not good. Why ? This means that there is never any questioning of his behavior. It is always the others who are at fault, but never the person in question. Some men (or women) say that their exes are crazy, but in reality, we quickly realize that they are the problem. On top of that, even if the relationship went wrong, it’s not normal to denigrate your ex to someone else.

2-    When he or she imposes his or her choices:

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This is called passive manipulation, we are gradually being imposed choices that are not ours. The person considers that his choices are better, he ends up imposing them. You should never tell yourself that this situation is normal, because it amounts to devaluing yourself. We gradually lose self-confidence and we get crushed.

3-    You give, but you don’t receive:

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It can be little things like a lack of hugs or kisses, but also bigger attentions. It is also the same for the daily life, we render service however, these services or this help given is never returned. One is fully invested in the relationship, but the other does nothing.

4-    When you get put down or criticized:

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Whatever we do, whatever we say, the other person always has something to say. Criticisms and judgments fuse. By dint of hearing them, we feel belittled and we have the impression of no longer being worth anything. It is a highly toxic behavior that must be avoided at all costs for your mental well-being. At the slightest remark, we must make the decision to leave this narcissistic pervert.

5-    When we discover lies :

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Even if it is a very small lie, it should not be passed. Lying is not supposed to be part of the relationship, we can express ourselves freely and there is nothing to hide from the other. Telling the truth is a proof of mutual trust.

6-    When there are words, but no actions:

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The person tells us that they love us, that they care about us, but yet there is no proof of love or no commitment. Same for promises, projects, there are always some, but nothing materializes… So, we stop waiting, if the person does not commit or does not want to carry out any project, we confront him with that.

7-    When you are the victim of his teasing:

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The person tells us that it is humor and that it is to tease. In reality, these are mockery concealed under cover of a joke. So yes, you can be hypersensitive and a little touchy, but that’s no reason to suffer jokes that only make him or her laugh.

8-    When you have to justify your behavior:

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At the same time, ours with our spouse and also theirs! In the latter case, I often had to do it with my family or my friends to find excuses for my ex. In truth, I was just afraid to hear what my loved ones really thought. Do not hide or justify behavior, it’s just proof that the relationship is unhealthy.

This list of red flags is unfortunately not exhaustive. These are the main signals to look out for, but there are so many. We can include ghosting, negative comments, non-respect of our comfort zone, criticism of those around us, guilt, etc. Basically, it’s all toxic behaviors that give us a red flag.

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