We all had different kind of dates, it can be scary, fun, or unforgettable. The funny thing is that they can even be all three.
Most people quickly agree that a few awkward dates are more than worth remembering with the right person. When we find that feeling – the butterflies in the stomach when we feel the connection and they feel it back – it suddenly makes all the bad seem more than worthwhile. Even the right man will be repulsed if you say all the wrong things. Some topics are automatic triggers for men. Unless you want the date to end as sooner as possible, here’s some great advices on the first date.
1. I had a horrible day:
Variations: What are the traffic jams, It was a time to stay at home, This cafeteria is badly located! Unable to park…
What an introduction, after your hello. Avoid excessive complaining and whining or being negative at the risk of giving a bad first impression, which could tarnish the atmosphere of the whole date. Even if it was a nightmare to come, remember that the sequel promises to be much better since you are in the company of someone you like. Adopt a smiling attitude and be friendly. Leave aside the problems of everyday life: this is not the right person to unburden you. Why not ask him how his day was instead if yours is not worth dwelling on?
2. I live with my parents:
Variations: I live with my ex, I squat with a friend…
After 23 or 24 years, it is better to avoid this kind of sentence. There is certainly no shame in that. The personal and professional incidents of life sometimes push us to find the family nest. You can explain it when you know yourself better. But, during a first date, it brings back an impression of immaturity. The other is likely to think that you are running away from the responsibilities or even the commitment of life as a couple. So you can say, “I’m looking for an apartment” or “I’m moving” and explain the details of the situation later.
3. You look a lot like my ex:
Variations: I went out with lots of blondes like you, My ex wore the same perfume…
It’s best to avoid talking about your ex. Already because it’s annoying to be compared to someone else. We like to feel unique when we are in the seduction phase. But above all, your date will either think that you are still in love with your ex, or that you are an unrepentant charmer. The only subject that should interest you is the person you have in front of you. Also, if you want to move forward into a new relationship, it’s time to distance yourself from the past and focus on the present.
4. How many children do you want?
Variations: Do you want to get married?, Would you be ready to move for someone you love?
It is probably a little early, on the first date, to make plans for the future as serious as marriage or children. This can frighten the person in front of you who will think that you are trying to settle down at all costs and that you are going to force their hand. Also, he may not want to talk about things as intimate as his desire to become a parent. You can show that you want to commit by explaining to him that you are looking for a serious story or that you are beyond the stage of one-night stands.
5. I have never had luck with men/ women:
Variations: In general, I am considered insignificant, I only attract wrong persons.
First of all, you seem to be insinuating that the person in front of you is of little value because only a nobody can want you. It’s very upsetting. But on top of that, you devalue yourself. If you don’t show self-confidence, the person in front risks taking a biased and negative look at you, a look distorted by the bad image you give to see. In addition, your suitor will wonder why your romantic past seems so lamentable to you and if it does not come from you. Instead, explain that you never met the right person. Taking a romantic look at the situation, explaining it by looking for the person in your life, can play down your vision of your romantic past.
6. How much do you earn?
Variations: Do you have a nice car, house?, Does the job of…?
There is no doubt that the other will take you for a venal person. If for you, the notion of commitment in the couple goes hand in hand with the professional stability of your spouse, be subtle and ask him what he does for a living. Financial matters are difficult to discuss. Your date may think you’re more interested in money than love.
7. Haven’t we seen anywhere?
Variation: You haven’t acted in a film?
The smooth talker trick – it must be admitted that smooth talk is a rather masculine fault – we have probably already done it to him. The serial flirts do not attract much and above all they can be spotted from miles away.
8. I warn you: i have a bad character:
Variations: It seems that I’m difficult to live with, I don’t have to look for myself, I get angry easily.
Highlight your strengths, not your flaws. Certainly you do not want to lie, thinking that he must love you as you are, but there is no need to draw his attention to the most delicate points of your personality. A first date with someone we like is intended to seduce him, to make him want to see us again. It is therefore better to make a good impression. And then, tell yourself that if it works between you, he should notice your flaws soon enough and vice versa.
9. You are less beautiful than on the photo:
Variations: It’s a shame you had your hair cut, I don’t really like this style of costume.
If you’ve seen the person before, it’s less likely to happen. But if you meet for the first time someone with whom you have exchanged on the internet, it may not correspond exactly to the image that you had made of him or her despite the photos. One of the worst things you can do to seduce someone is to criticize them. In any case, mention rather what you like and what you don’t like.
10. Sex is very important in a couple:
Variations: I am a hot lay, I appreciate sexually liberated men/women…
Avoid talking about sex on the first date. The other may not want to reveal his intimacy too prematurely. In addition, you risk passing for someone who is only looking for a sexual adventure and who will not want to engage in a love affair. The subject of sexuality is undoubtedly a line not to be crossed on the first date, even if you are particularly proud of your prowess.